


Confessions of a Drunken Charlie

by lunrdarling



Category: IASIP, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst, F/M, idk what else to say in these tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:12:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12635475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunrdarling/pseuds/lunrdarling
Summary: Dee is out of town. Charlie gets drunk. Information gets spilled that probably shouldn't have.





	Confessions of a Drunken Charlie

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally sent to me as a "chardee proposal/wedding!" fluffy prompt idea but I turned it angsty-ish because I don't know how to write happy things, I guess... (I'm not a huge wedding person so it's difficult for me to write them tbh?)

“I wanna marry Dee,” Charlie slurred before he gulped down the last bit of beer in his bottle. He pushed himself off his stool and stumbled towards Frank, “Frank, buddy… Give me your fatherly approval to marry Dee,” He leaned on the bar next to Frank and did his best to look him straight in the eye. 

“What are you talking about?” Dennis looked at Charlie with his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. 

The other three men were significantly less drunk than Charlie was. He’d resorted to getting wasted because Dee was out of town for a few days with Artemis for undisclosed reasons. He hadn’t been away from Dee this long in a very long time and he hadn’t realized how dependant he’d become on her company to make him feel at ease. With her not around for more than twenty four hours, he’d started to get panicky and uneasy and anxious. She wasn’t here to keep him grounded. He’d gotten used to having her here for that, and he wasn’t coping well without it. 

“What am I talking about?” He repeated Dennis’ words as if the other man had asked the stupidest question in the world, “I’m talking about wanting to marry your goddamn sister, that’s what I’m talking about,” He gestured with his now empty beer bottle as he talked. 

Mac, Dennis and Frank shared a laugh. 

“Jesus Christ, Charlie. How much have you had to drink?” Mac asked. 

“No no no,” Charlie shook his head and clambered his way up onto the bar top. The other three looked on in amusement, “This has absotutely nothing to do with the alcohol, dude.. Dude…” He turned to look at Dennis again, “I’m-,” He paused and wavered a bit, looking like he might fall over, before stabilizing himself again, “I love your stupid sister so goddamn much… I love her like, like more than I love anything ever,” For a second, he stared off behind Dennis, lost in his own thought. It was the first time he’d said it out loud. 

“Get down off the bar before you get it all gross with your nasty shoes,” Dennis tried to help him down. 

“Fuck off!” Charlie swatted his hands away. He was getting frustrated that no one was listening to him and that no one was taking him seriously. Here he was, declaring his love and asking for Dee’s hand in marriage, and they were laughing at him. That didn’t seem fair at all.

“Charlie, you don’t love Dee. You’re drunk off your ass and probably high on something,” Mac rolled his eyes, “You don’t love Dee. Nobody could love Dee,” He laughed and Dennis high fived him. 

“Hey!” Charlie spun around to face Mac so quickly that he almost lost his balance. He threw the beer bottle in his hand down on the bar with so much force that it shattered into small pieces. They all cursed at him and moved out of the way of any pieces that might cut them, “Don’t, don’t, don’t say that! Don’t say that!”

“She is a beautiful flower who, who’s shampoo smells like berries and cream and who does your laundry even when you don’t ask her to and, and forgives you when you get rat guts on her carpet and doesn’t even make fun of you when you need help figuring out how to use her fancy coffee maker,” Charlie’s shoes crunched on the glass as he shifted on his feet as he talked, gesturing his hands wildly in the most Charlie-like fashion. 

Mac and Dennis and Frank had stopped laughing. They were staring up at him with their mouths parted slightly. Frank chugged down the rest of his beer and then got up from his stool, heading towards the back room, mumbling something about how he wasn’t going to even begin to get involved with any of this. Mac was the next to actually say anything. 

“Holy fuck,” He said quietly, “You’re really serious.”

“Yeah I’m serious! Serious as a… As a serious person!” Charlie shouted. His drunkenness kept him from really seeing exactly how shocked they were. It didn’t register that this might not be okay to share and proclaim, at least not now. 

“You bastard..” Dennis’ eyes squinted into slits. His face started to turn red. 

“/You’re/ the bastard!” Charlie yelled back, “Always.. Always being so mean and, and shitty to her! She deserves a better brother than you because then that brother wouldn’t make her cry!” That was information he definitely shouldn’t have shared, because Dee definitely didn’t want anyone else knowing that Dennis made her cry on an almost constant basis. 

“Shut up, Charlie.” Dennis said through gritted teeth. 

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

“Charlie,” Mac was talking now, trying to get him to calm down before things escalated any further, “Get down, come on,” He moved to help Charlie get off the bar but Charlie wanted no part of it. He moved away from Mac’s attempt at help. 

“Shut your stupid goddamn mouth right now before you regret it, Charlie,” Dennis was almost growling now. 

“I’m not afraid of you! You’re just a big b-” Charlie didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. 

Before Charlie or Mac knew what was happening, Dennis moved forward and picked one of Charlie’s feet off the bar. He pulled it up, causing Charlie to lose his balance, and then pushed. Charlie’s feet came out from under him and he fell backwards. The middle of his back slammed down hard on the edge of the bar and his head cracked against one of the stools. 

Charlie’s vision was blurry and his whole body was screaming with pain, his head and his back feeling the worst. He was lying on the ground under the ledge of the bar, trying to focus his eyes on something. His hearing was muffled. It sounded like he had cotton balls stuffed into his ears, but he could hear Mac through the slight ringing. 

“What the fuck, Dennis!” 

Then, Mac was kneeling next to him, asking if he was okay, trying to get him to say something. Charlie wasn’t really paying attention to Mac. He could see Dennis come around the corner of the bar and into sight. He had this evil, hateful look on his face that almost struck a kind of strange fear into Charlie’s heart. 

He felt himself starting to pass out and wanting nothing more than for Dee to come walking through the door of the bar, to make things better and okay again. She always seemed to know how to make things okay again.


End file.
